"Mourning", a Poem About a Loss, a Grief, a Journey by Itself to Gain Inner Strength by the Powerful Spirit

Pain pain pain that is all I feel again and again.

Lost in the sea of emptiness knowing that I can't shower him with hugs and kisses,

Feeling dark hollowness and missing the warmth of our cuddles,

Streaks of salted fluid running down as motion ever so continuous.

Oh god still the pain, bitter crushing pain, again and again.

Sitting inside,

by my bedside

I found memoirs that breezes into my heart,

stinging and stabbing memories probing at me back,

mocking and failing in my want of burying it deep inside.

Looking outside

I see life brimming every where, all the side

but how can I explain,

that nothing I can see is making me feel alive...

It is just simple and plain,

I can only feel pain and only pain, again and again

My heart breaks again when I remember,

You lying peacefully on the pyre

eyes closed,

lips parched

skin clear

near yet so far from here,

somewhere deep into nowhere...

Oh my lord why you want him more than me?

Why you love him more than me?

Why oh why you became so needy?

your need and want led you to tear him away from me?

Why oh why,

just answer me!

Why oh why now you are sitting silently?

Why oh why

now when I close my eyes

I can feel hate only...sigh, hate only.

People say that time heals the pain away,

but I can't even give time a day

because for me the hours are like years

minutes are more than months

and I don't even want to say what the seconds are for me today.

It is a long way for me to walk ahead,

filled with our memories together we had made.

Memories brimming with happiness and smiles,

the thought of it brings, oh brings again

Pain and only pain....again and again...

But one day I am sure I will be alright.

One day I know I will learn to live without you beside,

one day I will smile and be happy like I was before, from inside...

Till that day ......I will bear this pain, this crushing, stabbing, pain , again and again...